I think all relationships go through complementary and symmetrical patterns, depending on how long the relationship goes and the people involved. In my opinion, rigid complimentarily would be most damaging to a relationship. In this relationship one person is dominant while the other is submissive. This type of relationship is common in some marriages (especially in the East, where the husband is dominant and the wife plays the submissive role), parent – child and in friendships. Marriages are a partnership and we must treat each other equally by sharing information, ideas and roles. If the husband always plays the dominant role in deciding everything, the submissive wife may resent this at some point and rebel against this. This is the same in a parent-child relationship, if we constantly decide and play a dominant role, children and teenagers begin to rebel against this control. Any interpersonal relationship has its limits and there needs to be a balance and an appreciation for the other person’s feelings and the context in a given situation.
I think that you are right. Rigid was not my choice for the most damaging to a relationship, but to the individual. But, when you damage one person involved I can see how it could damage the relationship. And having a relationship when you are the "one down," as the book states, can be difficult to want to continue on with a relationship with the other. But in Eastern marriages, the "one down" has no choice. This relationship, I believe, is a survival technique. And I would say that the survival drive goes for both individuals.
ReplyDeleteWhen it is in a home setting, between parent and child, the child relies on the parent to "guide" them into adult hood and the parent wants their genes or family to live on. Same goes in a marriage. The dominate person wants to lead the family and in a sense protect and receive not objections in the process. The submissive partner wants to live and relies on the other for their survival, to do for them what they cannot or are not allowed to do for themselves.
I agree that when only one person is making decisions in a relationship and the other is continually submitting, this is damaging to both people within the relationship and neither will ever grow in the relationship let alone the relationship itself. It is extremely dangerous to both people in the relationship to have one dominant and the other submissive. It damages the dominant person by misconstruing their concept of themselves and their ability to interact in positive and beneficial ways with other people. It also can lead to personal stagnation, when there is no immediate need to grow or improve for the benefit of the relationship. This can have drastic impact on the society itself when this is the accepted mode of operation. The reasons it is harmful to the submissive person are limitless and obvious. Most anyone who has watched Dr. Phil can tell you the reasons why a lifetime of submission is debilitating, cruel.
ReplyDeleteAs do atapolski and red22, I also agree with what you have posted. It is important for both people in the relationship to make decisions either together or by taking turns on decisions, such as, one chooses whats for dinner one day, and the other the next. This is to help them grow together and be able to make decisions together in which they learn to work together. It is important to have equal roles in a relationship rather than having one person who is dominating over the other. Not doing so will only hurt the relationship. Working together is important in the relationship.
ReplyDeleteI love your description in the relationship. Praise people over their achievements and for their strong points. People who jealous from others cannot ever give warm faith in interpersonal relationship. For more information related to this please visit at the given link : crucialconfrontationsapp.com
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