The filters I have used to eliminate people from consideration as potential romantic partners sociological or incidental cues, physical proximity, pre interaction cues, interaction cues, and cognitive cues. I have used them all. The characteristics or behaviors that lead me to judge others as unattractive are awkward and difficult conversations, little feedback in a conversation, lack of confidence, little to no sense of humor, nonverbal behavior that I encode as negative and bad hygiene. Duck’s theory makes sense to me because whether we know it or not, on some level we do have an idea of the kind of partner we would like and we do go through a process to see who might be a possible date and who will be just a friend, and sometimes who we hope to never see again. I have eliminated someone by using the pre-interaction cue, but not the sociological cue. I place a high emphasis on nonverbal messages and most times they do all the talking needed.
I agree with you 100% on this. I can say that I have used everyone of these as well and do believe that everyone uses Ducks Theory, maybe not all at once or even during the same interaction with a person but they use them. I to believe that you want to have a relationship with someone who is easy to talk to and its very fluid, not forced or awkward. But at the same time you can have a very easy conversation with a person but their non verbal can be telling you more than their verbal communication and because of that you may be turned off by the person and put them in the friend zone and not the dating zone. Most people do already have their mind set on what they are looking for in a person and may not even realize that they are using these filters when they meet a person for the first time.
ReplyDeleteYes you guys said it! Personally I love people watching and since I read this chapter I've been picking up on other people using Duck's theory especially in body language. Earlier today for example I watched this girl talking to two men, one of the men was turned away from me, so I couldn't see his face, but I just by watching the girls body language I could bet money that she was into this guy. She was friendly to both of them but she just had this certain way about her that was trying to be so nonchalant but at the same time, it was pretty obvious she was so intrigued by him. Sure enough when I saw him I could see why; he was a fine piece of you know what. Ha ha anyways, it's interesting how we have a way of categorizing other people subconsciously and it's much easier to see examples of this when we're aware of the theories and filters in chapter 6.
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